Utterly amazed at how this practice creates such intense body awareness! Yesterday I felt like a total waste of space – I was utterly wiped out - exhausted, no energy, hungry, irritable, and did I mention exhausted! I knew my ladies holiday was due anytime, and sort of figured the complete and total fatigue was due to the approaching menstruation…My lack of energy was so extreme I had to cancel my dance lesson and my Kanadda lesson…Spent most of my day sleeping and eating – that was the other kicker – I could not satiate my appetite…

Woke up this morning and all was ok – I definitely felt better and had more energy than yesterday. I actually had a rockin practice – got Pincha Mayurasana on the first go (I was so excited I couldn’t help but smile through up dog and down dog) – is my fear of lifting up gone? Maybe…When I got back in position to start on Karandavasana I looked up and noticed Saraswati looking at me with a big grin on her face – she must have seen me do Pincha Mayurasana – made me happy to see her smile at me! She came over to help with Karandavasana – I go up in Pincha alone and while I was there she told me to try one time on my own – her attempt to talk to me while inverted on my forearms threw me off a bit – but I gave it a go anyway (knowing, though, that I’d land hard on zee bum b/c I have a long way to go before I can bring my lotus legs down to my triceps with any sort of grace.) And lo and behold, after getting into lotus, I tried to bring myself down – and down I went – smack into the floor…I looked up at Saraswati and started to laugh – she laughed with me ;) On my second attempt she was there to help – she wiped my legs into lotus for me – the grabbed my hips and away we went – while I was in the asana (with her help of course) I was trying to figure out how in the world I find my balance point here – and before I could spend another breath contemplating it – she wiped my hips up into the air – I swung my legs up and then went down to Chaturanga…I thanked her graciously as she started to walk away. I spent another few minutes working on Karandavasana – usually have pretty good stamina to give it a go a number of times. No problems with Pincha Mayuranasa – yeah!!!! Managed to get myself into lotus and try to descend at least three more times – but all without success. It’s all good – practice, practice, practice…all is coming! I happily got down to the floor for backbends.

This is when I knew ‘ladies holiday’ was about to start. In backbends I felt odd sensations in my lower back all the way down to my hips…Like there was just no space there when there usually is…A bit painful actually. I did my usual dropbacks and then spent a few minutes working to grab my ankles – and I did several times – but each time I grabbed my ankles I simply couldn’t straighten my legs like I usually can. I swear I actually felt my internal organs while holding my ankles – felt that they were very swollen! “Hum…that is amazing,” I thought to myself as I was holding onto zee ankles. Never been this aware of my body before…I grabbed my own ankles at least four times today b/c I wanted to open up as much as possible before Saraswati got her hands on me – but the work I did didn’t open me up – seemed to make me feel tighter with each attempt. “Ugh, it’s really gonna be uncomfortable when Saraswati comes over to help me! How can I tell her I can feel my own swollen uterus and don’t think I should grab so deeply today?” In mid thought she came over to me – I opted to just do it! Down and up, down and up, down and up – and then boom…She placed my right hand to my knee, then my left. “Maybe she does sense something as she took me straight to my quads yesterday…Or not!” In the next instant she pulled my right hand up to the quad, then the left – I held on for dear life as I tried with all my might to strongly ground my feet and straighten my legs – but it just wasn’t happening today. I stood up – sat down – and got a soft squishy push in forward bend. When I looked up to the stage I frowned – all three spots were taken…Just a few minutes earlier and I would’ve gotten to finish on stage. “Oh well, what are you gonna do? You’re gonna to the frigid ladies locker room and close out – that’s what!”

When I stood up I felt so old – zee body was yelling at me, Did a gentle finishing sequence as I knew when I got into headstand that ‘my friend’ had most definitely just arrived to spend a few days with me. I was really astounded that I sensed it might arrive during or after practice – and thank goodness I’d been smart enough listen to my intuition and grabbed the necessary toiletries this morning as I left the house. After Shavasana I welcomed ‘ladies holiday’ and smiled at HIS impeccable timing – there is no class tomorrow because of the Ganesh festival, and Saturday is day of rest anyway – so I’ll actually be taking two full days in honor of ‘His almighty pain in my ass’ ;)