Sasha and I were up til 1:00am this morning talking...When I did rest my head on the pillow I fell fast asleep...And before I knew it, 3:40am arrived - I wasn't ready for the day to begin so I snoozed til 4am.

After coming to the top of my mat, before saying my opening mantra and before beginning practice, I took ten minutes to pray...Prayed for my mother, prayed for my friends, and myself... I asked the universe to help me find more clarity in my life - clarity to face the plethora of changes I'm facing - clarity to understand how to best approach, decipher, and tackle them. I think my plate is filled to the brim with choices - choices I have and choices I have to make - and since all of these choices/issues are dynamic separate entities I feel lost - I don't know which ones to work through first; which ones require my full attention; and which ones need to be completely discarded and forgotten...Heavy stuff....

I then took an extra moment to ask for a deep inner focus in practice - one worth dedicating to the world, one which would truly resonate with the positive energy of the sun...And that is just what I received! I had the most serene practice of my life this morning...Although thoughts crept in and out for the first 15 minutes, it actually helped me re-focus, and also reminded me of my intention.

Every part of me needed this practice today - my mind needed the moving meditation, my heart needed the healing, my brain needed the break, my lungs needed the breath, my internal organs needed the release of toxic waste, my prana needed the many backbends of second series, and my soul needed the connection to the sun and moon and earth and life force around me....I've never been so in touch and so out of touch in a practice before - today proved to me that you must feed yourself and you must know what to feed yourself - you must trust in the practice - in the Universe - and you must ask for what you need and want - when you do you will receive it - but you must ask....

When Saraswati came to help me with Supta Vajrasana I was overcome with gratitude for her presence - she has an amazingly gentle, soothing, pure energy that resonates deeply with me. After she adjusted me and worked to stand up I noticed she had a wrap all the way around her right leg up to her knee. I felt sadness as I looked into her eyes and asked if she was ok - she just said, "pain!" I gently smiled and said, "please take care of yourself Saraswati!" - she smiled back and walked away.... "PAIN" - A powerful word - one of limitless meaning - universal experience - and so deeply rooted from birth to death.... I felt her pain...I fell her pain...Does she feel mine? I think she does...

When I got to Pincha Mayurasana I became fully aware of the power of this practice and its profound insight - by that I mean that the body influences the mind and the mind influences the body...When you are dealing with things in life you can see them reflected in your practice - and that is just what happened to me today - nowadays I can do Pincha Mayurasana no problem - but today it was so hard to execute the asana - there is fear in Pincha Mayruasana, many levels of fear for me - I've worked through the physical fears but I realized today that I actually haven't worked through some of the mental fears that are a reflection of the posture...For me Pincha Mayurasana represents unwavering surety, complete presence in the moment, total trust in your ability to maintain control in the midst of chaos, and an innately strong sense of connection...I feel that my current 'life-stuff' came out in practice today...It was really quite profound for me to see and feel this 'life-stuff' ooze from my body onto my mat....

I achieved Pincha Mayurasana a few times but the fear I felt in the pose today made it extremely difficult to work fully in Karandavasana...Saraswati saw that I was struggling today - so she came over sooner than she usually does to help me get in and out of Karandavasana. She seemed to know there is something going on in me today on an energetic level - she didn't push hard at all but instead she was very gentle...And the same for backbends...When she came to assist me her touch was soft, her grip was light - she only had me grab at my knees today instead of pulling my hands up to my quadriceps like she usually does....Her intuition - her innate connection to her students is astounding...

I did my closing sequence on stage this morning as the shala is becoming busier...It is actually quite nice to see and feel - for there is more energy in the room.